Dream On
by Lucky Shamrock
Summary: Rogue’s depression is eating away at her, is there anyone that can help her before it is to late?
1. Life Or Something Like It

**Title: **Dream On

**Written By: **Lucky Shamrock

**Disclaimer: **I don't own X-Men, I'm just playing in Stan Lee's sandbox for a little while.

**Rating: **PG-13 (Violence, and Language)

**Summery: **Rogue's depression is eating away at her, is there anyone that can help her before it is to late?

**Genre: **Angst/Romance

**Time-Line: **Set 6 months after the events in X2

**Pairings: **Unknown as of this time, could be Rogue/Remy or Rogue/Logan hell, it could even be Rogue/Scott for all I know.

**Authors Note: **Well, it looks as if my muse struck again. I know that Depressed Rogue has been done before, but hopefully mine is still pretty good. I like depressed Rogue, because honestly…wouldn't you be a little depressed if you couldn't touch without worrying if you were going to kill someone? There are a few issues addressed in this fanfic, namely Self Mutilation (cutting). So, you've been warned.

Also, at this point in time the pairing isn't decided, Rogue is either going to end up with Remy, Logan, or Scott. I'm just not entirely sure who. This is told in Rogue's point of view, but it will also occasionally change to third person. If you have any vote for who Rogue ends up with, now is the time to say so.

So now, onto the chapter.

**

* * *

_  
"Hey you pale and sickly child  
You're death and living reconciled  
Been walking home a crooked mile." _**

Chapter One: Life Or Something Like It

My head hurts, a dull ache that started in my right temple and spread throughout my head. Opening my eyes caused my vision to blur, and me to moan out in pain in my empty room. I was having the nightmares again, and waking up to a severe headache definitely wasn't my way to start the day. Nobody knows that I still have the nightmares, although Xavier might…but he has ethics and I'm pretty sure he isn't wandering around in my head unannounced. Besides, I already have too many people in my head.

Cody, Logan, Erik, Bobby, John…the list really does go on. Most of the time they were silent, and other times they were deafening. Sometimes I'll have a nightmare from Logan or Erik, both of who usually say that they're sorry I had to go through their pain once I wake up. At least the voices are pleasant. They could be so much worse.

When I can finally open my eyes without being hit with a wave of pain, I glance over towards my nightstand clock. It's almost noon, good thing it's a Saturday otherwise I'd be incredibly late for classes. Kitty and Jubilee have already left for the day, both of their beds are empty, and I'm pretty sure they got the professor to let them use one of the school cars to go to the mall. After I had broken up with Bobby, because I just couldn't take the stress of having to worry about our emotions getting the best of us, I distanced myself from everybody. Jubilee and Kitty barely talk to me anymore, and I really don't mind.

Getting close to people isn't something that a person like me should do. Because I couldn't get close to them. If I did, they would be dead within seconds. The only person I bothered to get close too has been gone for five months on a search for his past, which he'll probably never find. Logan left only two weeks after Jean died. He gave me his word he'd be back, but so far there hasn't even been a letter from him.

Rolling out of bed, I stiffly twist my neck first to the left, then to the right before standing up. This was my usual routine, later I'd probably grab a book from the library and head to the woods to read. It was mid-October, so I might as well get in as many nice days in the woods as I could before it turned too cold to bare.

I could hear Erik in my head telling me I didn't know what cold really was. That I was lucky I didn't freeze like he had in his youth. I told him to stop being such a drama queen and he shut up, leaving my thoughts to myself for now. I grabbed my usual clothing from the closet I shared with Kitty and Jubilee, you could easily tell what was mine because, my clothes lacked color. I was dressing in all black lately. A few people commented about it, but other then that they left me alone.

With clothes in hand I walked out of my room and across the hall to the girls bathroom. It was blissfully empty, which was the good thing about waking up so late. You didn't have to worry about having to take a cold shower because you were the last one to get in. By now all the water has heated up and as I step under the harsh stream of heat, tension in my back washes away.

The water is so hot that it burns my skin, but I don't bother to turn the water down. It feels good to feel something against my skin. People take touch for granted, they tell me how my mutation really isn't that bad…but they don't understand. They don't know how much we relief on touch, it's such a simple thing…but so important.

It takes me only awhile to shower and clean myself with vanilla scented shampoo that I had picked up the last time I was at the store. Once I was satisfied that I was clean the water was turned off and towel would be grabbed. I quickly dried myself off, while trying to avoid seeing all my scars. There were many on my arms, and stomach, hell even some on my legs. All made by a razor I stole from Bobby's room while we were still dating.

I cut myself so I can feel, and it's easy to hide the fact that I do so. People don't question me for wearing long sleeves, people don't tell me that it's a bit hot for a sweater. Because they know that if my arms are bare I could kill them.

Life is so damn complicated. I tug my black jeans on, and just as quick I tug on a black long sleeve shirt with two stripes of white running across my chest. Feet were slipped into tennis shoes that were well worn and looked as if I could use a new pair. Hair combed, I tucked it behind my ears and didn't really think about how curly and unmanageable it would be later if I left it down. Purple scarf was twisted around my neck, and black leather gloves were secured onto my hands.

I didn't bother looking into a mirror before I walked out…because I already knew what I looked like.

Weird.

I'm a freak, I can accept that. Tossing my dirty clothes onto my bed, I leave for the library…this was my life, or something like it.


	2. Old And New

Chapter Two: New and Old

There was only one reason why the twenty-six year old thief had accepted the offer made by Charles Xavier. That reason was because Remy Lebeau needed a place to hide. He had really pissed off both the thieves guild and assassins guild, and who would think to look for him at a school in upper New York? Looking around the grounds of the school, Remy was pretty sure that he would be able to handle it here.

It didn't seem like there was that many kids in the school, and it didn't really bother him that he would be teaching a self defense class. It gave him something to do in his free time.

Remy had a tall and lanky body, but it was really rather toned and muscled if one were to look under the tee-shirt and tan overcoat he could usually be found in. His brown hair was long and tied back into a simple pony tail, with wisps of bangs falling over his forehead. He also had a permanent five o'clock shadow, that never seemed to go away, even if he bothered to shave.

Currently he stood outside, lost in his own thoughts leaning on a tree in the back yard of the Xavier institute, his eyes covered by sunglasses even if the sun wasn't no where in site, hidden behind dark storm colored clouds.

He brought a cigarette to his lips and inhaled, Xavier, had told him that he was banned from smoking inside the school. That was just fine with Remy, he could stay outside for hours without a problem. In all honesty that's what he was planning on doing that Saturday afternoon, just resting outside and wondering where things in his life went wrong.

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

Scott Summers was thrust out of his thoughts as the doors to the library creaked open. He had came to the library to be alone in his own little pity-party. After all it was Saturday, who in their right mind would come to the library?

Rogue. She glanced his way and their eyes met for a moment before she disappeared into the rows of books. Even if he was usually lost in his own grief over loosing Jean, he still noticed that something was going on with the eighteen year old. She had a sad look always etched on her face ever since she parted from Bobby. Scott had been told by Professor Xavier that Rogue had finally realized that she would most likely never be able to control her powers.

Just like him. Scott had to wear ruby quartz over his eyes in order to avoid killing people if his eyes were to open. He knew how Rogue felt, or rather how it felt to not be able to control and will your powers away at will. He knew what it was like.

He worried about her too. Once Logan had left again, Rogue seemed to come around to Scott more and more. After school let out she was usually in his class room doing her homework while he graded papers (She simply told him that everywhere else was simply to loud to concentrate). He didn't mind her company. She didn't ask how he was doing, and barely even said a word. Just worked on her home-work with that sad look on her face.

The one that looked like she was about to cry at any moment.

After awhile Rogue appeared again, her thick wavy two-toned hair hiding her face from view as she left the Library with a book in hand. His mind was screaming at him to go after her and ask her what was wrong, how did she feel? But he couldn't move from his spot…he'd only be her teacher and nothing more.

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He had seen an angel! One moment Remy was leaning on a tree, musing about life in general when the back doors of the institute opened. Out stepped the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, walking gracefully down the steps with a book in hand. She had pouty lips, and a creamy complexion that most people died for. Even from his distance he could see her eyes, emerald in color, he had honestly never in his life seen someone with eyes as bright as hers.

What caught his attention though, was her hair, wavy and beautiful it shined in the outside light. Bangs that hung around her face were white, and the rest was an auburn in shade that was so breathtaking he wanted to run to her and ask her all about her life story!

His heart was thumping in his chest, and he took a moment to look down at the ground to try and center himself. It was nothing new, Remy going after a girl…but this one…she was just so perfect…

And she looked so sad.

A smile graced his lips, maybe he did make the right choice about coming to the institute?

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**AN:** Yes, I made Rogue beautiful…just as she is in the comic books. Logan will becoming in later chapters, I just wanted to get one with Scott and Remy musing about Rogue first. I'm well aware that these first two chapters are short. The later chapters will end up being longer pending on if you all really like this or not.

_Next up_, a look into the nightmare world that is Rogues mind, cutting to feel something, and a heart to heart with Scott.


	3. Voices In My Head

AN: Thanks for the reviews. I have decided to stick with _Rogue/Remy _and have _Rogue/Scott/Logan _friendship. Logan won't be seen until later chapters, and will come back with a vengeance whenever he does finally show up.

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Chapter Two: Voices In My Head

I woke up this morning when the loud beeping noise of the alarm next to Jubilee's bed sounded. When I heard it, I groaned and put my pillow over by head as I rolled over. I didn't need to get up as early as my room-mates, I took my shower the night before (to avoid the rush this morning) and all I had to do was jump into my clothes and go, seeing as I've made it a habit to miss breakfast and morning showers, I have a lot of time to sleep in.

Although, try as I might to get a few extra hours of sleep I can't. Bobby is restless in my head and taking it out on Cody, I'm not entirely sure what they are arguing about, I can't hear it so clearly…it sounds like static right now and is the most annoying noise on the face of the planet. "Shut-up." I mumble, low enough to avoid being heard by my room-mates.

Talking to myself was something that a few people grown accustom too, but still…I was enough of a freak already. At my command they seemed to quiet down a little, but they were still there and I could feel both Logan and Erik starting to get antsy because of it. With a sigh I toss my blankets off and am met with cool air causing gooseflesh to raise on my skin. I'll just get ready, keep my mind on something else. Think about the math test that I have today in Scott's class.

Kitty and Jubilee leave the room without so much of a word to me, like always. Sometimes I wish that I would let myself get close to them…but I just can't. I grab the first articles of clean clothing I can find, a black and purple skirt that falls to my ankles and a simple long sleeve black shirt. Today I match my gloves with my skirt and pull out a pair of deep purple silk Opera gloves. Feet slide into black mary-janes and I toss on my purple scarf. Today I actually bother to pull my hair up out of my face, leaving only the wisps of white around my face.

I take a moment to glance into the mirror. I decide that I look half-way decent and I leave it at that. My book bag must weight at least thirty pounds, but I toss it over my shoulder anyway. I keep it with me all day so that when school is all said and done, I don't have to run back up to my room to gather my books before heading to Scott's class room.

The hall's are practically empty as I walk down them, the other students are at breakfast, my stomach growls at the thought of food, but I ignore it. It takes me awhile to notice, but someone is walking next to me as we head down the hall towards the stairs. I look over, and I'm pretty sure that this guy next to me is by far the most handsome man I have ever seen in my entire life. The Logan in my head snorts when he hears my thought.

The man smiles at me, and opens his mouth to say something, but I've already decided…being around people…I just can't. So before I even get to hear what he has to say I rush down the stairs. I don't care if it looks like I'm running away from him, I don't care if I am running away from him.

It's safer this way.

And yet, the whole morning all I can think about is him. Maybe I shouldn't have ran? What would he had said to me if I had stayed there? When did he come to the school? Why was he at the school? So many questions, which probably led to me failing my third hour math test.

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Lunch was a somber affair, there are four long tables inside where people can sit at and eat, or you can have your lunch outside. I've chosen to sit outside, near the Koi pond in the back of the institute. My lunch is an apple that I grabbed from the kitchen before heading outside, it's doubtful that I'll even eat the damn thing. Knee's drawn up to my chest, I wrap my arms around my legs to hold them close and set my chin between my knees. My eyes shut and I listen to Erik tell me a story about how long it took Professor Xavier to decide that he wanted a Koi pond instead of a few simple colorful fish dropped into the water.

"Chere?" The deep voice interrupted my thoughts, it was so deep in fact that my stomach dropped to the ground when I heard it. I peeked my left eye open and glanced up. It was the man from before. Running away right now was out of the question, I was already cornered.

"Yes?" My voice is so thick with my Mississippi accent that it makes me sick. I hate it, I hate it because it reminds me of the home that I left.

"Remy 'tink that a beautiful angel like yourself shouldn't look so sad." As he said that he knelt down next to me, I had to bite the inside of my mouth to avoid making a shocked noise. He was so close, in fact…if he came any closer our noses would touch. I blinked, and he continued on. "Why are you so sad moi petite?"

He was wearing sunglasses and my heart was screaming at me to take them off so I could see into his eyes…so I could…I shook my head, I can't think about something like that. He was just dripping charm, probably did this to every other girl on campus already. Someone hadn't had the chance to warn him about me…how not to come close to me. He reached his hand up to brush against my face, and I pulled away not a moment to soon.

"Leave meh alone." I choked out, before getting up…and doing what I do best…running away.

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Lunch was over and yet my stomach was caving in on itself, I could hear Logan telling me that I should really eat something, but like the craving I ignored him too. History with Ororo was perhaps the most annoying class in the world, she'd drone on and on for hours about some revolution or another. Today it was most especially annoying because she was talking about world war two. I could hear Erik in my head talking about the history books couldn't get what really happened right. He had lived through it after all.

I listened to Erik instead of paying attention to Ororo. I'm pretty sure she knew I wasn't paying attention, but like all the other teachers…she has learned that they can't really help me. No one can help me. Although they don't give up, they sometimes corner me and get me to talk about my feelings or whatever. It really, really sucks to be me.

After History was chemistry with Hank, or rather Dr. McCoy. He's who they got to replace Jean. Thanks to an experiment gone wrong, he ended up with blue fur covering his entire body and mutating into some weird looking beast. Which is ironic, because his code-name is indeed Beast. He, is perhaps one of the only teachers I actually enjoy. He is always quoting Shakespeare, and has a tendency to ramble off in some scientific lingo that no one can understand. I like him best, because he's covered in fur.

This means, we can't have skin on skin contact unless we try really hard. This means, that I actually enjoy being around him…because he isn't scared like the others. Sure, I know they tell me that they aren't scared, but if I take off my glove for one second because the leather is itching my skin they practically yell at me to put it back on. Another thing about Hank that is loved by many of the students, is his Twinkie stash. During our check-ups or trips to the med lab you can always count on getting a Twinkie from the man.

The little things in life really do matter.

Once Chemistry was over (and I succeeded in nearly blowing myself up) it was off to Self Defense, which was usually taught by whatever teacher was available. I have to be careful in the locker room, distancing myself from others as they change. I choose to grab my clothes and change in a bathroom stall. Gray sweat pants and matching long sleeve shirt with the Xavier school emblem were the usual uniform for me. Others wore shorts and tank tops…but not me. I have to be careful. I tug on my white trainers and follow up by switching out of my purple Opera gloves and into nylon gloves that gave my hands more room to breath. No scarf for self defense, it was to hot as it was wearing the clothes that I was in. Without the scarf I felt naked, and put my hair down…just in case.

Color me surprise when I seen the sweet talking Cajun walk into the class room. He was in simple white tennis shoes, sweat pants, and a white tee-shirt that made all the girls in the class break out into talk (namely because said shirt clings to his muscular body). His sunglasses were off now…red on black. His eyes were red on black, and were the most gorgeous eyes I have ever in my life seen. Even more entrancing then Logan's eyes were.

I heard both Bobby and Cody tell me to stop drooling, and I promptly bit my lip and looked away. It looked like my days were just going to get worse…because this man was Remy Lebeau, our newest teacher.

The news that he was our teacher made a few break out into rather loud whispers, I groaned…every time someone cute walked into a teenage girls life they had to squeal about it. Although, secretly I wish that I could do that…be like them…but I couldn't.

We were going to be working in pairs, going over the defensive moves that we had been taught the previous week by Scott. Remy had made the mistake of asking for a volunteer to spar with him because there was an odd number of kids in the class. Hands shot up like they were on fire from all of the girls.

But did he choose one of them?

No.

Who did he choose?

M…E.

Me.

I have a feeling he's just here to torment me with what I can't have.

Once all of the students were in pairs I approached him, he just smiled a wide smile and got into the fighting position we were supposed to be in. "Remy doesn' give up wit'out o' fight."

"Ya should."

And let the beat down begin! Okay, maybe not really a beat down. Despite the fact that Logan was telling me to kick him in the balls, we were going over the moves we had learned previously. Sorry Logan, can't kick him in the balls. Although, I wanted to…maybe that would have got him to leave me alone.

Once the warm-up was done, Remy went about talking about taking on an opponent that was bigger then you (didn't we learn this the first week we had this class?). He taught us how to go about it in a slightly different way. While both Scott and Kurt who had taught the class, told us to grab him by the shoulders and swing him over our shoulders in a flip, Remy talked about how not everybody was capable of doing that because they were either too small…or the opponent was too big.

He taught us how to be evasive, and move about until we could move in and do exactly what Logan kept telling me to do…kick your opponent where it counts. Remy said this would even work on a female opponent…

None of us really wanted to know how he knew that.

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I was happy when the bell sounded, ending Remy's class. A few of the girls stayed behind to talk with him, but I hurried into the locker rooms and got a shower stall before the water turned icy cold. Shower was quick and brief, just something to was the sweat away. I didn't even bother to dry my hair as I tossed it back into a pony tail, letting it drip a little bit before I rung it out with my hand. I got back into the clothes that I had been wearing all day, and headed out of the locker rooms pulling on my scarf as I headed up towards Scott's class room to complete the day with our afternoon ritual.

He was there, waiting for me as always at his desk. He offered me a smile and I tried to smile back (although I'm pretty sure I just looked weird). "How were your classes?" He asked me, and I shrugged replying with a simple "Good." before taking a seat opposite him and pulling out my Physics book.

He set to work on grading our math tests, and I set to work trying to comprehend Physics. The harsh florescent lights were off, and that was just fine because the large picture windows let in much of the afternoon sun. Occasionally yells and foot falls of students could be heard, but other then that things were silent.

It was just the way I liked it. We started this routine after Jean died, he was sad, and I was always sad. It fit. We fit together, both lost in our grief as we worked after school. Occasionally he talked to me about her, told me how much he missed her and how sometimes he'd wake up in bed and think that she was still laying next to him. I offered him an ear, and unlike the others I didn't say "I know how you feel…you'll get over it in time" or "She was a wonderful woman, I could only imagine how hard…"

I didn't say anything, except for a simple "I'm here if you need me."

Our relationship is nothing more then a friendship, most of the other students don't seem to understand that. Kitty and Jubilee on occasion will comment on my spending time with Scott, but I didn't mind. He was just a friend, a really good friend at that because he never begged me to tell him what was wrong…he never promised me life would get better.

After an hour and a half past he handed me my test ( a plus side of being there, I always got my papers back first ). It was a B, not bad for me. "You could do better." He told me, and I rolled my eyes while I stuffed my paper into my math binder.

"It's better then last time." I told him, with a shrug of my shoulders as I shoved the rest of my books into my book bag. He nodded at that, and stuffed the rest of the graded tests into a drawer in his desk.

My stomach, ever so embarrassing gave a rather loud growl.

"How about we go out for a pizza?" He asked me, and with little hesitation I nodded. Going out for pizza beat having to fight over whatever food was for dinner, and having to worry about someone getting to close for comfort. Honestly he wasn't supposed to hang out with me like this (it was showing favoritism) but I was one of the kids that were close to the edge (according to Professor Xavier), meaning that it was okay to show me a little extra attention. Yay me. It meant pizza on a Monday afternoon, a perfect way to end the day.

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We took the bright blue ford thunderbird that Scott had restored in his auto shop class so many months ago. I like this car because the top can go down, and Scott can do these crazy four-wheel drifts with the car. A four-wheel drift is this crazy thing that someone does with the wheels of the car on a winding road. It feels as if the car is going to loose control, but it doesn't. So many people think Scott is some guy with a stick up his ass, and I feel special because he let's me know that he's actually kind of cool.

Logan hates the fact that I hang out with Scott, he keeps talking to me and complaining about how Scott is a pansy and other things…I try to block it out as best as I can as we drive down the winding mountain road towards Salem Center.

Next to Hank, Scott is my favorite person in the institute for this reason alone…when I'm with him, and we're out of the institute, it just feels so real. Like we're just going for a ride and getting a bite to eat, and we don't have to worry about killing someone with our mutation.

The Pizza Hut in Salem Center is just starting to get busy with the dinner crowd, we're lucky that we came now because later it will be packed with families out for a bite to eat. After not having any food all day my stomach lurches as we step inside the dim lit building, the smell of pizza is in the air. For once it didn't bother me that it was so loud there, with people talking to each other while waiting for their meals and the what not…it didn't bother me, because…it was just all so…

Normal.

Scott and I are led to a corner booth, menu's set in front of us before the middle-aged waitress takes our drink orders. We order the same thing, Mountain Dew…we've done this before. Maybe twice a month while come down here after a long day of school. As she took the drink orders, Scott also placed our usual order…we didn't need much time to decide. Medium Pepperoni pizza with extra sauce and cheese, and a side of cheese breadsticks.

It was usually to much food for us to eat, but that was okay because we'd just toss it into the fridge in the kitchen when we got home and by morning it would be gone (no food is ever wasted in the institute). The waitress just smiled and took our menus before heading back to get our drinks.

Scott smiled. I smiled.

Things were blissfully perfect. Things were always good when I was with him. He was honestly…my best friend. That's kind of sad when I think about it, he's in his late twenties, he's my teacher…and yet he's my best friend.

But that's okay, because I know I'm his best friend too. This was the only time that the voices and feelings in my head didn't get to me. Later they would probably be yelling at me, telling me that I didn't deserve to have such a good time…but that was later…and this was now.

I could remain blissfully ignorant to the voices in my head for another hour or so.

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AN: Sorry, couldn't help having a big part with Scott in it. I adore Scott and hate how so many people see him with a stick up his butt. Also had to add the Pizza Hut part. I'm a big fan of Pizza Hut and just writing about it is making me want to go there and smell the smells and eat the food. Mmm. Hopefully Remy's accent is okay, and next up…depression galore. Woo.


	4. Blood

**AN:** Love the reviews you guys (keep 'em coming). Decided to write another chapter. Woo.

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Chapter Three: Blood

It's all in the blood. My mutation, my life-force, everything is in the blood. It's what keeps me alive, it's what makes my skin untouchable.

Blood.

I hate it.

Scott and I got home from Pizza Hut only a few hours ago, and now I've locked myself in a bathroom stall and currently I'm slicing my arm up. The blood drips onto the tiled floor in little puddles, I don't really care. I really don't.

Why am I doing this? Well, it's simple. When Scott and I got back from our dinner, I seen Bobby making out with Jubilee. I know, I shouldn't take it to heart. He's dating someone else and I'm fine with it. But seeing what I couldn't do…I just snapped.

I could hear Erik egging me on, telling me that if I cut a little bit deeper…

Then there is Logan telling me that I had better not even think about it.

The others just sat there, not saying anything…

I don't know what to do anymore. I really don't. It's to hard, does anyone else at the school know what it's like to be me? I can't touch anyone, I can't…it hurts to even think about it. I'll never have kids, I'll never be able to kiss someone, I'll never. I'll never. I'll never.

Lost in my thoughts, I didn't notice how deep I was actually cutting. My gloves sat in my lap, and my left arm was shaking as I just let the razor repeatedly slash my skin. Why not take it to the next level? It's not like I'm doing anything important here anyway. I live in fear of touching people, people live in fear of touching me, I live in fear of mutant haters, I live in fear of Magneto, I live in fear of my nightmares, I live in fear.

I live in fear.

I don't want to live in fear. I don't want to live period.

The puddles of blood are getting bigger now, and Erik and Logan's voices in my head are growing quiet. I let the razor drop from my hands, and look over the damage that I've caused this time. When I look down at my arm…I'm actually scared.

There were so many gashes…the blood was everywhere. It scared me to think that I really was going to die. I wanted to die right?

Then why was I so scared?

I wasn't entirely sure what I was doing, everything was so confusing and hazy as I struggled to stand, nearly slipping in the pool of blood at my feet. I made it nearly two steps out of the bathroom stall before I collapsed onto the floor, I stayed awake and alert only long enough to hear someone scream.

And then there was darkness.

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Remy had been looking high and low for the angel that stole his heart from the moment he laid his eyes on her. First he checked all the first floor rooms, the Kitchen, Rec room, and Library…no angel there, only students. He then began the obvious search of the second floor, which meant knocking on every door to ask those that answered where Rogue was.

This task was proving harder then he thought it would be, he was about ready to give up when he heard a very girlish scream. Normally Remy wouldn't get involved, in fact even now he was fairly certain that getting involved would be a very bad idea, although some girl probably just seen a mouse or something. So what was the harm? He was a teacher after all…

It only took his tall form a few steps to get to the area of the scream, girls were crowded around what he assumed to be the girls bathroom. Maybe he would get lucky and see some lovely lady in the nude?

All thoughts and smiles dropped when he seen what the screaming was about. There in the middle of the bathroom floor, covered in blood, was his angel…

"Merde!" Was all he could say before stepping into the bathroom, springing into action. "Sumone go tell the Professor!" was all he could think to say as he checked to make sure that Rogue was still breathing. His heart was going a mile a minute as he scooped the young girl into his arms, lifting her up with ease.

All he could think about as he carried her small form down towards the med lab was how sad she was earlier.

So sad…

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Scott had been in the rec. room watching the news when the Professor's voice entered his head. The moment he heard those words, 'Something's wrong with Rogue, we need you in the med-lab' Scott sprung to life. He actually had jumped over two kids playing monopoly on his way towards the door.

Halfway down to the med-lab, Scott noticed something that made his stomach spasm. Blood…a single trail of it leading towards the med-lab. The sight of the blood only made him run faster, until he was finally in the already crowded med-lab. Professor Xavier was speaking with the new teacher (who Scott really didn't like), Jubilee and Kitty were off in one corner, huddled together and crying, and Hank the large furry doctor was huddled over someone.

Rogue.

So pale. So fragile. So beautiful, even now covered in blood. He clenched and unclenched his jaw.

Be strong Summers…you're the leader…you can't afford to break down. Moments later, Ororo and Kurt arrived, both with the same mirrored expression of worry.

"Professor…what's going on?" Ororo asked, the words that Scott couldn't.

Professor Xavier looked up and gave a grim look. "It seems that Rogue was more disturbed then any of us could ever imagine."

He went on to say that if he would have known, then he could have done something about it…but even though she seemed so sad he didn't want to invade her privacy by going into her mind. Scott was told how Kitty was the one that found her laying in the bathroom soaked in her own blood, then how Remy sprang into action.

Ororo went to comfort the two girls in the corner, Kurt started to pray, and Scott just stood there numb. Could he have done anything to help her? She didn't really seem that sad earlier…just the normal, everyday Rogue that he had grown to care for. If only he had known how depressed he was…

If only.

Why didn't he see how she truly felt?

"She needs more blood if she is going to survive." Hank spoke, startling everyone out of their thoughts.

"Don't we have some stored?" Professor Xavier asked with concern.

"We did, but after last weeks incident…" Hank said, referring to the rather large amount of blood that had to be used to save a few new students after their run in with Mutant-Haters.

"Take mine." Scott said, suddenly; his sleeve rolling up.

"We can't simply take your blood, it's not that easy…you need to have the same blood type." Hank stated.

"I'm aware of that." Scott growled out, surprising everyone and himself at how he sounded, "I'm the leader of the team, I'm supposed to know these things. We have the same blood type."

"In a situation like this, I fear I cannot argue." Hank said, with a sigh.

Blood. It's what we all need to survive.

And sometimes, it's what connects us together.

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

**AN:** Short chapter I know, you can beat me with sticks and stuff if you want. So, Rogue tried to kill herself? Bet you didn't expect this so soon…

I mostly had this happen now, because the rest of the story will show her healing and how different people help her heal. What happens when Logan comes back and finds out she's not the same as she once was. I had Scott give her the blood rather then Remy (or anybody else for that matter) because Scott is like her only family as of now, they both understand each other, and now Rogue has Scott's blood flowing threw her veins.

Next Up: Rogue muses on her new life being watched twenty-four seven, Remy tries to comfort Rogue, Scott tries to comfort Rogue, Logan call's the school and get's the news.


	5. Why Didn't Anyone Notice?

Chapter Four: Why Didn't Anyone Notice?

It was time for his weekly call. That was one thing that he had to without a doubt do. The Professor warned him that he was indeed part of the team rather he like it or not, and if he didn't check in a rescue mission would be provided. In a way, it was nice having people care about him. Like his Marie, she was like a…well he wasn't sure, all he knew was that he wanted to protect her from the world and he figured that the best place for her to be protected was with the X-Geeks.

Logan was a gruff man, who now after only a few months on the road seemed to grow even gruffer. He was taking Jeans death hard, the woman didn't love him; he knew that…but by the Gods, she was just so perfect. So smart, so beautiful, and powerful…and she was dead.

A sigh escaped his lips as he fumbled with the pay phone in his hand, dialing the number for the school that he knew by heart. He had promised himself he wouldn't think about her again, and there he went mind wandering away from him.

Currently he was in Alaska, he wasn't sure why…instinct led him hear maybe, all the while on Scott's bike, or rather his bike now. It was worn to the rims and he was pretty positive that sooner or later he'd need to put new tires on it if he ever wanted to make it back to the school. Maybe to visit Marie…did she miss him? Probably not…she was probably off having a good time with that boyfriend of hers…Bobby was it?

"Hello?" Interrupted his thoughts as someone from the school picked up the phone. Ororo maybe? He couldn't' have been to sure.

"Hi." Rough voice speaking out as his eyes watched another semi-truck pass the gas station he was currently at. "Callin' in fer my weekly--"

"Logan good, there is something that I fear I need to tell you." By now Logan was certain that it was the white haired woman on the other line. His heart dropped when he heard those words, 'I fear I need to tell you something' was never anything good to hear, at least not in his opinion.

"What is it?" He barked into the phone, louder then he meant to do. Jaw clenching and unclenching every passing moment. Get to the point woman…get to the damn point.

"Rogue."

With that one word the phone dropped out of his hands, and a pained expression flashed across his face. Keys for his bike were gently taken out of the pocket of his jeans, and he all but ran towards the motorcycle that sat nearby. He had to get back…he had to get back.

Perhaps he should have stayed on the phone and heard what exactly Ororo had to stay, but the longer he stood at that damned pay phone, the longer he had to wait to get back to Westchester. Within seconds he was on his motorcycle, kicking up the kick stand , and taking off onto the highway.

"I'm coming Marie…"

She was the only one who had accepted him for who he was. He had stabbed her and she still accepted him for petes-sake. She had too be okay…

She had too.

Oh God, why wasn't he there to protect her!

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

Scott hadn't left Rogue's bedside, he didn't eat or sleep (no matter how many people told him to). He just sat there, wearing clothes from a day before wrinkled and disheveled, his brown hair stuck up in many places from the constant times his hands would run through it. He was tired, hungry, but he couldn't help but looking hopelessly down to Rogue who seemed so peaceful laying in the hospital bed.

Her arms were covered in bandages, and there was an oxygen tube under her nose to help her breath. Machines beeped casually as if conversing with one another, and as the room grew dark once more Scott didn't move. Hank had been the one to give the grim news, Rogue lost so much blood that there was barely enough making it to her brain. Now with Scott's blood in her system, her body had to adjust once more.

Until then, she was in a slight coma, only slight because Hank had reassured them she would wake up in a few days. And yet, he wasn't going to move until she woke up. The classes he taught had been canceled for a couple of days, but Scott was sure that sooner or later someone would drag him out of his misery and up into the real world.

He just…she had been so bloody…so pale…and all he could think was that he was going to loose a friend now too. He couldn't deal with that, Rogue quite honestly next to Ororo was his best friend. She listened to him when he talked about Jean and wished that she would still be alive, she put up with him even if he was an ass.

And yet, what did he do for her? Why didn't he notice? He should have noticed that something was wrong right? She was acting weird the other day, he should have…anything…

Scott leaned forward in the chair he sat in with a groan. Why were people always getting hurt around him? His hands, both gloved for his and her protection clung to one of her hands ever so slightly. He didn't want to hurt her any more then she already was after all.

"P…please Rogue…" His voice cracked, obviously from the lack of using it. The only times he had spoke in the past day or so was to decline food or to tell someone that he was okay with sitting by and standing watch, and that he didn't need any god damned sleep. "You've got my blood in you now…we're family…or something…I don't…I…I swear…when you come back…whatever is wrong you won't be alone."

She would never be alone again, he would be there for her, he would be her family, he would be her everything…he wouldn't let her be broken again.

Scott would make sure she got better, became happy again like the Rogue he first met, he would make sure of it…even if it killed him he would do it…

"I promise…"

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

For the first time in his life, Remy had no idea what to do, or even think. He wandered around outside the school between the hours he taught, simply lost in thought. Where were his thoughts? On the girl that he deemed his angel. It was only the other day where he seen her bloodied form in the middle of the girls bathroom. Only the other day when he carried her down to the med lab, hurt from her own doing.

That's what scared him. She meant to hurt herself. She did it herself and he could only wonder why? She had been so sad, but he just figured that was her thing. Some people were just like that…but…she had tried to…

He twisted the cigarette he held in his hand around for a moment. He honestly wasn't supposed to smoke on school grounds but he needed it. The girl that had stolen his heart with only one glance nearly died in his arms, her blood had stained his clothes. Even the tan over coat he wore now still carried drops of her crimson red blood.

Red on black eyes watched as the clouds rolled over head, it seemed to be so dark and cloudy ever since that day. Fall was in full swing, the red and yellow leaves were falling to the ground like snow sometimes, wind howled during the night, and October was settling in over Westchester county. He frowned, what had made her so sad?

He of course had heard of her power, she couldn't touch people…and yes he figured that could make someone sad, but so sad that one would try to end their own life? A smoke filled sigh escaped his lips, trying to figure out his angel.

Remy had already come to the conclusion that he was going to help his angel in anyway possible. He was going to make her feel something other then sadness. He would be there…with a sigh he dropped his cigarette and used his boot to crush it into the earth.

Maybe after his next class he would go see his angel. Maybe she would awaken tonight…and he could promise her face to face…

"Je promets, mon petit ange" ((I promise, my little Angel))

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

AN:

A) Sorry for the delay.

B) Sorry for the shortness.

C) Please review.

Next Up: Logan's back, and Rogue wakes up to find that a lot of people actually care about her.


	6. Bring Me To Life

**AN: **I am so utterly sorry about the delay in posting with this story. For a while it seemed that my inspiration for this story left me...but it's back now with a vengeance.

* * *

Chapter Five: Bring Me To Life

Logan had driven for most of the night, and into early morning without stopping longer then five minutes. Thanks to the Motorcycle and it's "special features" he easily sped across Canada and towards Westchester with no problem. The only thoughts on the man's mind were about _his _Marie and how he could help _his _Marie. He hadn't stayed on the phone long enough for Ororo to tell him exactly what was wrong, but that didn't matter, because Marie was hurt.

Marie was...what was she to him? A friend? A daughter? A mate? Even Logan didn't know the answer to that. He had feelings for Jean, lusty feelings. He didn't have the same feelings towards Marie though, but then again his entire relationship with Marie was different then his relationship with anyone else. He had nearly died for her, twice. Each time he figured that his death would be worth it, to save her.

His Marie.

He pressed on, the Motorcycle being pushed to it's limits once more as he entered New York state, if he kept the speed he was going up he would be at Marie's side in the next hour. The wind tore at his body, the cold fall air was almost too much to handle at the speeds he was going. He didn't want to slow down though, he wanted to get there.

Logan mentally coursed at himself, why had he left in the first place? To search for a past that was washed away with Stryker. What was so important about his past anyway? He was so stupid...he shouldn't have left her there alone, without him. Was it Magneto? That question crossed his mind millions of times during the drive, Magneto had been the one to nearly -- no, he did kill her last time...Logan was just lucky enough to be there for her.

It was killing him. He should have listened to what Ororo had to say on the phone, he should of asked more questions, but instead he rushed off...

* * *

"No, no...it's not right. She won't like the bed there, under the window maybe?" Scott asked Remy. They both stood in a formerly empty room in the teachers wing, right in between Scott's room and another Guest room. Boxes were stacked in a corner, and currently the two men were working on putting a full size bed in place somewhere that Rogue would approve of.

The previous night, around the midnight hour Hank had quite literally picked Scott up out of his chair next to Rogues bed, and plopped him out in the hall simply saying that "Gazing at her all night will not get the teen to awake from her current state."

Ever since Scott not only tried to fall asleep, but he also found Remy out back, and the two of them together decided to pack up Rogues things and move them into a room in the teachers wing. Might as well do it now then later right? It had taken them only a few short hours to pack up the girls belongings into boxes, Scott was surprised over how many books the girl actually owned.

Remy's voice snapped him out of his thoughts, "Remy don't tink so, unless the bed goes lengthwise...'den it may work..."

Scott nodded, watching as Remy pushed the bed under the window. It was odd, at least in Scott's opinion that Remy seemed to care so much. He only arrived at the institute weeks ago and yet the young Cajun was acting a lot like Scott was. Like a chicken with his head cut off. Scott grimaced at that thought...was he acting like Remy? The one that was currently fussing over the angle the bed should be at under the window? The one that barely knew Rogue?

Glancing down around him Scott had to nod, he was acting like Remy. For the past half hour he had been debating on which side to put her book case. Was it really that important? They had even went so far to paint the room a shade of army green, one of Rogues favourite colours. Why was he doing this?

Because he loved her, brotherly, fatherly, who knew...he loved her and this kept him occupied while she lay down in the med-lab...

"Why are you helping me with this Remy?" Scott asked finally, dragging himself out of his thoughts as he went to help the younger man make Rogues bed.

Remy shrugged, wiping his brow before trying to figure out how the Hell to put the tan fitted sheet onto the bed. "Remy's not sure about that one 'imself. 'De petite jus' seems so..."

"Helpless." Scott finished, and Remy gave a nod. After a moment of silence Scott grabbed the fitted sheet from Remy who seemed to be a tad clueless about it. "I really wish I could have done something...I thought I was getting though to her."

"Don't be to hard on yourself --"

"How can you say that! I'm her friend, I'm her damned teacher! I should have...I should have..." Scott was near the breaking point, hours without sleep, hours without food even, not to mention the constant worry about Rogue...

Remy was far too insightful then a man his age should be, but then again that was just the way he was. Empathy was an interesting thing, and he could feel the sorrow and anger coming off Scott in waves. "S'not what you should have...it's what you can do now..."

Scott sighed, the guy did have a point. Just because he failed Rogue didn't mean he had to fail her again right? He would watch out for her this time, be there for her every step of the way...he would save her.

* * *

Logan pulled into the institutes driveway only a few minutes after his watch proclaimed it was noon. His stomach had grumbled then, but he could go without for awhile longer. After all the driving he had completed in the past day once he made sure that _his _Marie was okay, he would indulge himself -- steak, a large baked potatoes complete with enough butter to clog an average mans arteries...his mouth was watering at the thought of it.

He parked, shaking his head...now was not the time to be thinking about food. Now was the time to be thinking about Marie who was...hurt. That was all he knew, she was hurt, and he had driven a day away just to get to her...

He left his bag with the motorcycle, he could come back and get it later. He noted a few students out and about in the yards, but they were few and far between. It was a weekday after all, class would be in session, or at least he thought it would. A few more steps and he found himself at the door, to be greeted by none other then Charles Xavier.

"Chuck." Logan said simply in greeting. The telepath must have seen or heard...or whatever it was he did, Logan coming.

"I have asked you repeatedly not to call me that, and yet you still do. Why?" The bald man gave a grin that could only be described as grim -- as the bearer of bad news. Logan almost growled.

"Rogue?" Not like he needed to ask, the telepath knew, Chuck always knew. His wheelchair backed up allowing Logan to step into the slightly eerie quite of the mansion.

"I suppose you would like to go see her then?" Before Logan could answer, the man was already leading him down the hall towards the hidden elevator that lead down into the lower levels of the school. It felt strange being back, Logan was always on edge here. So many students. So many things haunting his memory -- Jean. The attack on the mansion. His one true shot at finding his past...

"What happened?" Logan asked, not bothering to be polite about it. After all, Rogue was hurt, Logan had the right to blame the school. Right?

"The situation at hand is very, Logan you need to understand that there was nothing anyone could do at the time. I didn't know until recently --"

"Didn't know what?"

Xavier sighed, as the elevator door sprung open to let them in. The white of the inside was almost blinding to Logan's hyper-sensitive eyes. "I respect my students privacy, therefore I don't pry into their mind. If I did we might have been able to prevent things from going so far. Rogue, she..."

"Spit. It. Out."

"Her mutation isn't as we thought, we know that essentially she 'sucks' the life-force out of a person and gains for a short period of time the persons attributes...including mutations. What we didn't know, was that...apparently the persona of that person stays in her mind..."

"You mean she has everyone she's ever touched in her head?" Logan asked with slight disbelief, if that was the case that meant...he was in her head. But, why would that cause her to be hurt?

"I'm afraid so Logan." As the elevator came to a stop in the lower levels Logan was prepared to run towards the med lab. He could already smell her, already sense her..."She, you have to understand Logan that it's much akin to schizophrenia, she hears voices...only these are the voices of those she has touched. You, Magneto, Cody, and a few others...are all in her head at any given moment of any given day."

Logan frowned for a moment, "But you said you respected the students privacy, how would you know all of this if you didn't go lookin' around in the kids head?"

"I had to. She-she tried to kill herself Logan." Xavier continued to speak, but Logan didn't hear a word he said, it was like all of his blood rushed towards his ears, blocking out sound, blocking out rational thought as he took off towards the med-lab. His cowboy boots thudding against the floor, his heart beating against his chest...

She was there, in a bed, her hair fanned our around her, arms bandaged up...

"Logan. Logan."

"What?" He snapped, growling this time as he stalked towards his Marie, laying there...looking...dead. "Why isn't she awake?"

"She's lost a lot of blood Logan. Scott, lucky enough has the same type."

"One eye?"

"Yes, that would be the only Scott at the school Logan." Xavier gave a sigh, watching as Logan looked rather helplessly at Rogue, reaching out for a moment in hesitation.

"I can heal her." He stated, and Xavier shook his head, coming closer.

"If you do that, then the psychic wall I've built up for her will be shattered. It's fragile enough as it is, it will crumble down the moment she wakes...she needs peace for now."

"How come you didn't know?" Logan asked finally, looking up towards the man he had trusted with Marie's safety.

"Because she is an excellent actor. She faced everything head on, no one knew what she was doing..."

"Wait--what do you mean, what she was doing? Has she hurt herself before now?"

Xavier gave a grim nod, and Logan growled.

"Go." While this was Xavier's home, his school, the professor knew enough about the love Logan felt. He didn't need to say anything more as his wheelchair left the med-lab, leaving Wolverine alone with his young counterpart.

As Xavier left, Logan dropped himself into the chair next to Marie's bed. The chair smelled too much of Scott, but he wasn't about to go off and say anything about it. At least Marie had someone there that sat by her side. If he sniffed the air just right he could smell the blood that lingered around her, looking down he sighed...

"Why did you do this Marie? Why couldn't you have said something..." Logan whispered, sighing into his hands.

"Lo-logan?" Came the reply he hadn't been expecting. Marie's voice, so soft, so weak...

He picked his head up from his hands, and grit his teeth, green eyes looked back at him...green eyes that looked so...hallow.

* * *

**AN:** Am I evil? I left it there, but don't worry I promise I won't take forever to update again. I got some really good inspiration this time around. As for all of your lovely reviews, thank you so much...if it wasn't for your kind words I probably wouldn't have continued this.

* * *

**Next Up:**Logan and Rogue talk, Logan and Scott talk, Remy watches Rogue, and Rogue discovers the set back of trying to kill herself, namely having three very overprotective men around her all the time. 


End file.
